Feed on POSTS
Academic English can only get one so far. Then you’ll have to get into the nitty gritty of the language.
“Ma’am,” Nishka waited around after our literature class, “I have a question, but it’s not about literature.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“What is a freak? I have seen people saying it in movies and such but I don’t understand what it means.”
“Hrm…” I thought for a moment. “Usually, we use freak when describing someone who is strange or weird.”
“Oh, okay. Does it also mean like someone who cannot get along well socially? Like I was watching a movie with a scientist and even though he was very smart and brilliant, he did not know how to interact with people. They called him a freak in the movie.”
“It could mean someone like that. Sometimes if you watch a movie set in high school, there will also be groups of students who are considered freaks.”
“Yes!”
“Like a group of outsider students who dress in all black or look strange.”
“And are they also awkward in social situations? Does it mean that?”
“Not necessarily. Someone can be a freak and still be very social. It can describe how someone is socially awkward, but it is also used to describe people who are into weird things. You know, like someone who worships Satan is considered a freak, but he might actually be very good socially.”
“This is good to know.”
“Yes. But you should be careful when you use this word because it also has a connotation about sex. Like maybe if someone is being called a freak it might also mean that they like to do weird sexual stuff.” Then I called upon my ability to mimic young urban youth and said, “Dang, she a fuuuuhh-reeek!“
“That’s really good to know. Thank you miss!”
“My pleasure.”
“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”
I dunno who wrote this, but it’s rather apropos as this moment. Enjoy.
The things we wish for.
A teacher was munching on green grapes that were given out at lunch and commented that they “taste like Windex,” and continued to pop them in her mouth.
“But I still keep eating them.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Maybe they’ll make me sick and I’ll have to go home.”
I thought it was a fine idea.
A testament to our present mentality.
In an e-mail to friends:
My runner’s legs are back (which means my runner’s butt is back too! [FYI: Runners have hot butts!]! (I couldn’t run for a month after a knee injury I sustained in Nepal.) Thanks to some of you who have sent me Glucosamine Chondroitin. I’m also doing mad yoga. Not “angry” yoga, but mad like “lots of.” That’s a young-person-colloquialism right? Damn, I’ve been away so long I don’t even know.
As I was getting ready for one of our many school functions, some students were helping me with putting on a sari. It’s not an easy task, wrapping and draping yards and yards of fabric just so. The front pleats of the skirt were lopsided and I asked Charla to help re-tuck it in. We carefully pulled out the gathered fabric from the waistband of the petticoat and she began repositioning it when she ordered, “Ma’am, please spread your legs.”
I choked with laughter and obliged.
