Feed on POSTS
Now that I’m trying to get back on the blogging horse on a regular basis, I’ve been checking the search terms that bring people to my blog again. These little phrases, typed into empty field boxes, that bring people to my interwebian presence never cease to amuse me.
Ya’ll Are Still Thinking of Me:
amy adoyzie is a big, funny hustler.
adoyzie ugly american
Ya’ll Are Still Thinking of Really Random Stuff:
my pain is too hard
write spelling of prease
net typy bikini for mens
flashing images love
holy shit awesome cookies
writing gobblygook on the internet
Ya’ll Are Still Thinking of Body Parts:
chinese women thighs
indian butts
More: Quiered
This is quite possibly the most accurate search query that has brought a visitor to my blog:
nerdy teacher in front of class
Yep, people found me with the following words.
Persons
gus misses amy
oregon cowboy
hello kitty peace sign
what are self-soilers
bart simpson ako kaka
danny the dark green dinosaur kid’s play
angry chinese people
amy and her life in bangladesh
people riding a cockroach
monkey riding donkey
little white and black girl as friends
rick sanchez racial epithets
any sexy volenter are come to nepal 2009
diy superhero pinata
bigbootyasianwomen
fobby looks
asian fob quiz
Body Parts
stop patting my head
hanging eyelid
droopy b cup boobs
fat asian teenager
fat dreads
“picking her ears”
bushiest hair in the world
after workout smells like rusty metal
big bug bite on butt
shin tattoo sock
people with their tits on there stomach
i can’t lift my leg over my bicycle seat
turkey leg girl
i would force your eyes to see just how
Food Stuff
honey cornflakes
seasons greetings fish
top banana pillow big bang
pretty pictures of birthday cake for girl
sheez soy cheese
stencil grapes
teacher appreciation cake
Good Question
why teaching is a hard job
what is your eyelid?
why did volunteers leave worldteach bangladesh
the chances of having bad luck
Really?
study of literature is a waste of time
higienic pant
engrish be dangerous
bad luck everything in my house breaks
Filed under: Big Bang, Don't Do List, Operation Engrish Prease, Queried, Typy Typy
It’s tragic. The depths in which we abhor our own skin, our bodies, the flesh which we mold from the inside-out. We take tiny metal prongs, press them against our skin to yank out tiny unwanted hairs from our faces. We slather on wide strips of wax, hot glue on flesh, and hope to God that if we rip it away quickly enough the stinging won’t be as severe. Or, like myself, disconcerted with the dark fuzz on my upper lip, fearing that I might out-mustache a future crush, I got my lil stache threaded, pulled out row by row by a woman and a looped piece of thread. It hurt, but I guess it was worth it for all those hordes of men who want some of this. Right? I mean, all of them lined up outside my home and office in Chittagong. That’s who we do it for, isn’t it? Not so much for ourselves, but for those who have to look at us, because their eyes and inherent judgment always means more than we think it would.
Lots of readers stumble upon this blog through various search queries, most of them are totally odd and hilarious. The top query that brings people here as been, obviously, “amy adoyzie.” But disconcertingly enough, two of the top five queries have to do with eyelids, per this post.
It was written almost two years ago when I used to live in Huarong, PRC. As there was nothing much to do in rural China, I’d go to the one-kuai shop (kinda like the 99 cents store) and peruse their various cheap offerings. On this particular day, I went home with a small package of eyelid stickers that Asian folks wear to give the appearance of the much coveted “fold.” To have eyes that belied their chinky selves, to make them look bigger, more western.
Number 2 and 4 of the all time queries that bring folks to my blog are:
epicanthic fold
All of this from one silly post. It keeps getting more unsettling. Just recently these queries showed up:
super glue eyelid
All over Asia-east, southeast, south-the majority of women share a common cosmetic obsession: white skin. A leftover from colonialism, a result of mass-media brainwashing, steeped in classist socialization about how dark-skin folks are working-class laborers and fair-skin people pop white collars- but ultimately it’s mired in self-hate. It’s the bleaching of one’s skin, the very shell of who we are, blanched until all of our color, our histories, our struggles fade to turn into a homogeneous pale mass/mess. It is too often that I have to remind students, and my own mother, that they are not too dark, that their skin tone is deep with color. That their skin is their skin, that they shouldn’t let a corporation who profits on self-hate tell them otherwise.
I’m equally confounded by the legions of east Asians who want to cut their eyelids. Ones’ eyes, even if they are small and slanted, are said to be the windows to one’s soul. And you want to take a machete to it? Slice it open at the top to ostensibly let in more light?
Don’t you know that the light comes from within?
To whomever stumbled upon my blog with the following query, thanks for allowing me a hopeful moment that we are not always mired in self-hate.
More awesome search terms that bring people to this blog!
Food items
black people eating’ raisins
peanut shells
cab ride and free pizza to vote
free pizza bar brooklyn
beer pizza messy
fat beer pizza
corn flakes box evolution
mushroom shakes laos
udon catfish soup
morbid muffin
muffins and the message
“a whiskey and a beer back”
“and a beer back” meaning
Ethnic stuff
hot bangladeshi
oriental mimes
chinkee uk
deshi mama
big booty asian women
big bang theory chopsticks
chinese hopping vampires
fat asian kids
Long stuff
song with kid in a green dinosaur costum
natalie’s arch nemesis has assumed con
are we going to die on big bang day
“heart! my heart! what means this feelin
lunch today me to do what cheese sandwic
walking out loud know we ain’t got a bon
goth ways to put on makeup for asians wi
a bastardized version of man which cannot be reversed
english teaching superhero, fighting eng
Tutorials
show me how to run fast
“need to use soap”
bithday cards wish writing for maam
“when i grow up” lesson plans
lesson plans for “when i grow up”
american girl teaching chittagong
shop for shower luffa online
Har Har
local hero amy – readers digest
gus the south high school janitor
bear riding bike circus
Huh?
or it didn’t happen
feng flue en la china
line drawing isuzu imark
videos of girls with encephalitis
how big is allah
An open letter to readers who stumbled upon my blog by using the following queries in a search engine:
amy adoyzie nirvana
I’m flattered. And confused.
* Seems I’ll be writing up occasional posts about the queries that most fascinate me. Like the one about the Barbie Shop or the compilation of amusing queries from the summer. There’s whole new list growing.
How do folks find this darn thing? Here are a handful of search queries that have brought strangers to this strange web space.
Semi-Expected:
reading a paycheck lesson
“live in the along”
dishwashing job
careers when i grow up
big paragraph example of nerd talk
good feng shui tattoo
beer and pizza
Chuckle-Worthy:
“i’m a superhero” t-shirt
double eyelid sticker
tape eyelids
brain explode jap encephalitis
big lady crushes small girl videos
does one hyphenate up-to-par?
i was little girl i asked god i said
“vacation constipation”
what is booty-rubbed dancing
Odd:
chinese amy hood
four-six stance kung fu
flower petal hot
low hyphen
“balloons popped”
prease polise movie
“white people,latinos,black people”
background communist
how my brother parties
who has the same name as me
watch the music video that goes like thi
she sat at her toilette pale skin face
Creepy:
big tailed women
goth bang
There are some truly mega creepy ones that I’d rather not repeat because they’ll just lure more weirdos.
An open letter to whomever stumbled upon my blog by using the following query in a search engine:
Yes, there is a Barbie shop in Chittagong. It’s on Mehedibag Road, south of where it meets M.M. Ali Road. It’s right next to the One Stop Shop where they sell plastic sandals and cereal.
There may be other Barbie shops, but this is the only pink doll shop I’m aware of. Good luck!
Hope this helps.
